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Post by Mark on May 20, 2005 20:44:24 GMT -5
Hi, interesting to see Jeff is around my age, 41 - most of you others are a good deal younger. though I do smoke openly, I'd still say I was a closet case.
I had a smoking fetish since I can remember and sneaked the occasional cig since about 11 yrs old, especially enjoying the left overs of my mums female friends smokes. Friends started smoking openly and eventually I did too, but never was an every day smoker. I smoked with some friends and not with others, a pattern that continued. I'm sure my fetish had something to do with holding back, but also I haven't ever found that I needed to smoke, or can't recognise the cravings. But I have always loved the sensuality of it.
As time went on I never fully came out and many friends didn't think I smoked. I found my life was split between a lifestyle of healthy activities and a health orientated career, and a hedonistic side with friends and situations where I was an occasional smoker. I smoked secretly most days too - maybe thirty a week up till 30 years old.
I met my wife from the healthy side and kept the secret from her for several years before confessing and revealing my fetish. She accepts the fetish, though won't indulge with me on that and has gradually become more hateful of my smoking which gradually increased to a present 8-20 a day.
Now I have kids who know I smoke but have never seen me. Same goes for most relations. A significant amount of "healthy" friends don't know I smoke, and I tend to not smoke in front of people I know. I freely smoke in one room in the house, mostly in the evenings, the rest of the time I end up not indulging or having to go through the tedious routine of covering up the smell on me.
The fetish side was well and truly opened up when I first logged onto the net - wow! It hasn't lessened at all over the years and I wish wish wish I'd been more open in the past and much as I love my wife, I should have married a smoker. At risk of shoving advice down your throats, all you younger ones, take head, take the plunge and come out now as it's harder the longer life goes on and for most of you it probably won't increase your habit, probably won't affect your fetish but it will increase your enjoyment in life.
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Post by sam on Jun 17, 2005 0:15:19 GMT -5
Eh, I really am glad to have stumbled upon this site. I thought I was alone on this fetish.. But im obiously not.. and same here Closet Smoker.. weird stuff..
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Post by athfkarl on Jun 17, 2005 0:38:12 GMT -5
Sam = me, just resistered. Really is such a great releif to find people who have the same fetish as me. I really only ever smoke when I think about it. Thats pretty much the only time I crave one, I can go for weeks without needing one. Which im happy of because I live with my parents and I have to be able to control it.
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Post by athfkarl on Jun 18, 2005 2:53:01 GMT -5
"same here, and the weird thing is that once i have an orgasm i don't feel like smoking anymore, so if that happens before i finish the one i'm smoking i just put it out. strange huh?"- Closetsmoker
I'm exactly the same way. I think that we aren't addicted to cigarettes. We just use them to enhance whatever it is were doing. Because I know myself that If im outside and doing something active. I never need to smoke, but when i think about it, I get aroused and feel the need to smoke. If for some reason the moment goes wrong. I don't feel the need to smoke anymore. I really only smoke 1-3 a day.
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dex
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Post by dex on Jun 24, 2005 15:16:02 GMT -5
Same for me but I don't smoke everyday. I get aroused when I think about smoking, or see a girl smoking. But it doesn't mean that would make me need to smoke. I'll have a cigarette when relaxing or with (smoking) friends, or before some personal pleasure . That's true, smoking will enhance our pleasure, but is not an addiction. It's funny, it seems we festishers are all smoking for the same purpose. For now it's a week and half since my last one (geez that's a long time! I should have one!). For those who are smoking every day, aren't you afraid of getting addicted anyway?
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Post by superkings on Aug 29, 2005 16:02:34 GMT -5
I love to smoke as it arouses me and when I am done i no longer want one, also watching women smoke turns me on, cannot help it, but thats what happens
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Post by Furtive on Nov 11, 2005 19:00:54 GMT -5
I'm new to this message board. Here's my story.
I'm in my mid 40's and very ehalth conscious except for my smoking. I smoke about a pack a month, usually either Marlboro Light 100's or Salem Light 100's.I keep it in the closet because my family is intolerant of smokers (my parents are ex-smokers; hell hath no fury like a reformed smoker). I was fascinated about smoking from a young age and have been turned on by females smoking since as far back as I can remember. My smoking definitely stems from that fetish.
I first tried a cigarette when I was 11, when I swiped one from a cousin. I didn't know about inhaling. I began to smoke at age 13, bumming cigarettes from females. I still didn't know how to smoke until at summer camp one year, during a camping triip in the Berkshires, I heard one girl instructing another how to smoke. After I got home from camp, I went out one day and bummed a cigarette from a girl. I went behind some stores where no one would see me, lit up, and inhaled for the first time. It was an epiphany. I didn't cough or get sick. In fact, I loved it.
I continued to smoke on an occasional basis until age 19, when I quit. I started again at 21. It happened while I was in college. I was waiting for public transportation back to my dorm during a heavy snowstorm, without success. Standing next to me was a gorgeous woman with whom I struck up a conversation. She took out a cigarette and lit it up. I was overwhelmed with a huge hard-on and a sudden urge to smoke, so I bummed one from her. I've ben hooked ever since, but I've manage to keep my smoking very light. I like to smoke all-white 100's because I have a sub-fetish for women smoking long all-white cigarettes.
I never knew there were others who shared my smoking fetish until I read an article in the Sunday New York Times Arts & LLeisure Section in the mid-1990's written by Richard Klein, who wrote the book, "Cigarettes Are Sublime." He talked about how smoking fetish sites were cropping up on the internet and described a film clip seen on the Coherent Light website. As soon as I got on the internet I began searching for smoking fetish sites. I was amazed at how many men shared the fetish. For so long I thought it was just me. I'm also amazed to read about how specific experiences of other closet smoking men have been sommuch like mine (e.g., their own smoking being associated with the fetish). To me, message boards like this are a godsend. the only thing I haven't been able to find on the internet is a dating site that caters specifically to closet smokers. I'm single and looking, and I must find a woman who smokes cigarettes, preferably in secret. I find female smoking expecially sexy when it's furtive. By the way, rumor has it that Laura Bush is a closet smoker.
I'm sorry to be so long-winded. If anyone knows of a closet smoers' dating site, please fill me in. Thanks.
Happy smoking.
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dex
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Post by dex on Nov 20, 2005 7:39:48 GMT -5
Hi Furtive, It's funny how we all feel we're alone with our smoking festish... It seems so private, so 'strange', that I couldn't imagine myself telling this to a friend, or a girlfriend, even smoker! I'd fear to seem like a deranged person ;D . Meanwhile, our stories are quite similar! For the dating site, there are message boards like Smoke Personals that may help you meeting some people who enjoy smoking. However, the problem is who's behind the keyboard? The problem applies on any meeting website of course, but I think it applies more on this kind of 'uncommon' meeting demand... I hope you'll find someone that understands your fetish and make it more enjoyable for you!
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Post by chrissy on May 29, 2006 14:57:34 GMT -5
im chris 24 from the uk. tried my 1st cig at 13 and smoked regularly by 21. i also have a smoking fetish
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Post by Herb on Jul 19, 2007 16:22:57 GMT -5
My wife & I are both closet smokers. We only smoke at home in out day-to-day lives. But we have a recreation property at the beach, and we've always smoked openly in that community. We have a different set of friends there. Our friends there know us as open smokers.
Neither my wife's parents nor my parents know either of us smokes. Although we can control it around home, to some degree, we have both been heavily addicted to cigarettes since our teenage years.
We live for our frequent sanctuary at the coast. My wife and I frequently discuss smoking openly at home, but we're not ready for that yet. At home, I smoke four cigarettes a day and my wife smokes around a half pack. At the beach, I average a pack a day, and my wife averages two, sometime two-and-a-half, packs a day. I get so hot when she smokes heavy like that.
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Post by Grant on Nov 3, 2007 19:52:23 GMT -5
Does it turn u on when u come out 2 sum1.esp when theyve knwn u 4 years+had no idea u smoked+r so shocked?esp if they smoke too!
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Post by M on Jan 8, 2008 5:55:50 GMT -5
Haha...wow! Well I'm an American living in Japan...and I had this sudden desire to buy a pack of cigarettes from the vending machine. I bought a pack of menthol Virginia Slims because the packaging in Japan has Sakura blossoms and is in beautiful black, pink, and white patterns. Since then, I've smoked only about a pack of cigarettes....and I know I shouldn't....and I can go weeks at time without any...but then when something goes to nuts I find myself back with the package and loving the smell, the taste, the smoke, EVERYTHING. I had no idea how wonderful menthol cigarettes were and I have no idea why I keep running back. I'm afraid I'm going to become addicted.
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Post by hooligan on Jan 30, 2008 10:12:58 GMT -5
Hi Furtive, It's funny how we all feel we're alone with our smoking festish... It seems so private, so 'strange', that I couldn't imagine myself telling this to a friend, or a girlfriend, even smoker! I'd fear to seem like a deranged person ;D . Meanwhile, our stories are quite similar! For the dating site, there are message boards like Smoke Personals that may help you meeting some people who enjoy smoking. However, the problem is who's behind the keyboard? The problem applies on any meeting website of course, but I think it applies more on this kind of 'uncommon' meeting demand... I hope you'll find someone that understands your fetish and make it more enjoyable for you!
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